The Cairns Post breaks another major story

I never miss a Weekend edition of the Cairns Post. There’s always plenty of “interesting stories” in between the real estate ads and bikini girls. Yesterday though, there was a surprise waiting for me in the pages of the Weekend Post – two blokes had been caught by the police riding around Freshwater naked and I knew one of them! So, I gave “Matthew Kean Fenn” a call and he agreed to this exclusive interview for Not The Cairns Post

Not the Cairns Post: So how did you end up riding a bike around Freshwater naked?

Matthew Fenn: Well, it was one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time. It was Saturday night and bucketing down with rain. I think the next day they said we had over 100mm in an hour. Anyway, we’d been having a few drinks and a naked bike ride seemed like a good idea. I personally blame it on the bottle of Longview Shiraz that we drank.

NTCP: How did the bike ride go?

MF: Pretty much without incident. We rode down to check the two Freshwater Creek crossings. There was water over both roads so there was no traffic. The only car that we saw was the police car but we were almost home by then.

NTCP: How did the police catch you?

MF: Well, they pulled along side me and turned their flashing lights on. I wasn’t riding all over the road like some people have suggested. I stopped and they told me to drop the bike, which I did. I then stood there for ages while they wrote a ticket. They put their spot light on me for some time. My mate had rushed inside to get me (and him) some clothes and he came back after 5 minutes or so and gave me a pair of shorts. My fiancee turned up just as the police were writing me a ticket.

NTCP: How did the police react?

MF: They did their job – but poorly in my opinion.

NTCP: Can you elaborate on that?

MF: No.

NTCP: What were you charged with?

MF: Creating a public nuisance. It’s a summary offence.

NTCP: Tell us about your day in court?

MF: It was all over fairly quickly. I was represented by a great solicitor, Rowan Silva. He presented my plea, the prosecutor presented the police case, Rowan presented mine and the magistrate gave us a $200 fine. The police prosecutor wanted us to be given a bond but the magistrate didn’t think that was appropriate. It was over in about 5 minutes.

NTCP: How did the Cairns Post get wind of the story?

MF: Their court reporter snuck into the court room after our case had started. We saw her rushing out the front with her camera as we headed out. We waited around inside to try and stop her getting photos but we saw her making a phone call and decided that she must have called another photographer. She then came in and had a chat to us, trying to get some material for her story. She asked if we planned on making it a regular thing, what our wives thought and if there were any photos. One annoying part is she’ll think that she tricked us into getting our photos taken by calling another photographer when we expected that there’d be one out there.

NTCP: What do you think of the story in the Cairns Post?

MF: Well first – what a stupid headline! I could’ve come up with something better than that. Also it’s fairly inaccurate. It was my mulcher that I was going to pick up, not Damien’s. We did not “sheepishly plead guilty”, our solicitors entered the plea for us the only thing I said was “thank you your Honour” at the end of proceedings. Most importantly I didn’t say “Next time I’ll wear a helmet”.

NTCP: How did they get that quote?

MF: Well the court reporter, who wasn’t taking notes when she was talking to us, asked if we’d do it again to which I said “No, but if I did I’d have lights on my bike and wear a helmet”. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s been mis-quoted by the Cairns Post.

NTCP: What has the reaction been like from your friends and family?

MF: Well, most of them think it’s pretty funny but it has been a bit scary with all the weirdos that come out of the woodwork when there’s a story like that about you. We’ve received some phone calls from people who are upset that we rode bikes naked. What we’ve done to hurt them I don’t quite know but it is freaking out our families a little. Any weirdos out there if you feel the need to tell us how horrible we are don’t ring – just email me – matt.fenn@gmail.com